NOOooo!

This. Has. Not. Been. My. Week. And it's only Wednesday. To be accurate, some of the things in "this week" actually happened last week, namely the infamous cat pee incident. Some of you already know this story, being on my very short list of people with whom I would share such a horrifying story with. But now since I am a world published blogger, it is almost required that I share everything with the masses. However, I will summarize this story, as it is really yesterdays news and I have a better one for today! Here are the high points:

1. Had been smelling urine smell while sitting on particular couch for a few days, usually just changed a couple diapers and went on with day.
2. A few days go by, kids and I on couch reading. E says, "Why is this wet?"
3. Further investigation leads to discovery of standing liquid in crevice between leather couch cushions. Sticky smelly cat urine.
4. ARRRGHHHH.
5. More ARRGHHH.
6. Both crevices between the cushions full of pee.
7. Fall on floor dead.
8. Get up.
9. Begin clean up. Long process. Many chemicals. Smell not completely gone.

...I didn't really sit on that couch anyway.... You probably shouldn't either, except that I am not telling which one it is. However, the kids will probably "let the cat out of the bag" as they now refer casually in conversation to that couch as the "cat pee couch".
(Cat that is now re-purposed as a strictly outside cat. Cat that is lucky she wasn't re-purposed as a fur stoal. Cat that spends most nights trying to gnaw her way into the house through the floorboards under our bed....)

But on to today. TODAY, the kids and I were outside working on the garden. Primarily hunting slugs in a desperate attempt to save sprouting plants. I soon noticed that the kids had moved on to cilantro harvesting in giant mixing bowls that they had apparently just returned from inside with. Simultaneously, I started hearing a strange thudding noise from inside. I asked E if they had let our dog in when they went in to get the very size appropriate cilantro containers... she gave her favorite reply as of late; "S did!" (This has gotten to be such a common phrase around here that I told her today that I was going to call Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle- anyone else love her?-and ask her for a pointer-finger cure. Later at dinner E asked if I really did have Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle's phone number....) Since I did know now that the dog was inside and I was still hearing this banging around, I ran in... to discover my bowl of defrosting chicken breasts on the floor. The dog was trying to eat them, they were still quite frozen, thus the loud noises. Unfortunately, the bowl had been full of ice water that was now quite chickeny- this was now splattered all over the floor and cabinets. Chicken breasts were everywhere. Everything was full of muddy paw prints, including the kitchen counter. Seriously? I wasn't even sure where to begin. I went back outside. (and the dog too.) I cant even tell you how much I am grossed out by raw chicken, yuck, yuck, yuck. Thankfully, I LOVE bleach. And I used alot of it....